[Rennat]

There Is No Such Thing As Muse

A Brutally Honest Dose of Advice

The views here are based completely on opinion. If you are offended because you believe in muse, then by all means, be offended. This guide asserts that muse is a myth that is an obstacle to better writing, and if you, personally, choose to believe in “muse”, then that is your right.

Things you will need:

1.) A computer/ipad/phone or other such device with Internet access

2.) Some uninterrupted Me Time

3.) Magic Muse Sprinkles

Step 1:

Turn on your computer and connect to the Internet. Open the RP site of your choosing. Select a thread to write a post to work on. Realize that you have no muse.

Step 2:

To regain your muse, open the bottle of Magic Muse Sprinkles and throw them into the air. Dance the happy dance.

Step 3:

Realize that everything you thought you knew is a lie.

Introduction

Many RPers refer to this ambiguous thing called “muse” that seems to be a synonym for “inspiration”. As a young RPer who doesn't know any better, this is fine, but now that you are a grown up RPer who is writing better characters and posts, it is time to let go of the myth of muse. By all means, keep believing in fairies and dragons (if you don’t, we’ll be worried), but please, for everyone’s sanity, it’s time to give up the idea of muse, and here’s why.

Professional writers write every day, whether inspiration is there or not, or at least, they should. When I say “writers”, I am referring to all sorts of writers: novelists, screenwriters, playwrights, essayists, and RPers. A writer's muscles are like an athlete's muscles: they must be exercised daily, whether the writer or athlete feels like it or not. Even if they do not work on their novel or screenplay itself, dedicated writers will often do something to exercise their muscles, such as writing a character study, looking up unfamiliar words, brushing up on their grammar, or even reading a book or doing research.

Now, I know many of us are not professional writers, and we have neither the time nor the wish to reply to all of our RP posts every day. Some of us do and can, which is great; do whatever suits you. Regardless, if you are one of the people who wishes to kick this lack of muse problem you have, never fear, for there is hope!

Step 1: Make Like Elsa and Let It Go

The first step is letting go of the idea that there is such a thing as muse.

There is no such thing as muse.

No, really.

There is no such thing as muse.

Now that we’ve established that, you’re probably thinking, “Okay, I’ve accepted that there’s no such thing as muse, but why don’t I feel like writing?”

Step 2: Beating Procrastination

You’re probably procrastinating. The only remedy for procrastinating is to get down to business and defeat the Huns. That’s right, just do it. Open your reply box, your Word Document, your notebook page, or whatever it is you write on, and start typing. If you’re still staring at the same two sentences half an hour later and not getting anywhere with it, then you might be bored.

Step 3: Give Yourself Something to Write About

If you can’t think of anything to write, then your thread or character might be boring you. Have your character do something radical. Invent an NPC who attacks your character or runs by completely naked, asks for directions, and then runs away, pursued by cops who run by a moment later. Have your character decide they need coffee right now. Have a spontaneous natural disaster occur. Remember, even in real-life games, RP is not 100% realistic or accurate; if it was, it wouldn’t be very entertaining.

For spicing up a character, give them a secret—you don’t even have to tell anyone in OOC that your character has this secret. Another great tool is a character goal or two. Give them one or two dominating, overarching goals, which motivate their entire life. For example, a character may be motivated to get out of bed every morning because they want to avenge their father or find their long-lost sister. Give them secondary goals, such “wanting to get married and raise a family”. These goals will be more on the back burner, but they still motivate your character to do what they do. You can also give your character tertiary goals, such as wanting a nicer sword or to get a certain job. Defining what your character wants from the other character will make your thread truly interesting.

Step 4: Go to Sleep!

Still nothing? You might be tired. Have you had a long day? This might be a sign that your brain is done and your body needs to rest. Some people drink coffee and keep going, and props to them. If you’re one of the people who uses sleep, then use it. Sleep is like the “restart” button for human beings. Make sure you get enough, and you will most probably wake up in the morning refreshed and ready to write.

Step 5: Getting Into the World

So you’ve accepted that there’s no much thing as muse, you’ve livened up your thread and you’ve taken a long night’s nap, and the words are still not flowing. What’s next? You might not be in the world yet. This means that you’re still preoccupied with the desires, needs, and demands of real-life, which is good! In order to take yourself out of the land of RL and into the realm of RP, take fifteens to relax. Peruse the site for updates, read other people’s threads, look at pictures on DeviantArt, or chat with your fellow members. It is recommended that you change out of your work or school clothes and into your jammies (your brain will learn to associate work clothes with work, and your jammies with fun time). Some people like to reset by taking a walk outside or even stretching or working out. Doing research also helps, and it might even lead you to new plot ideas. Once you’ve had time to readjust, you’ll much better set to be creative.

For some people, music helps. Listening to character theme songs or other such pieces that you associate with your character can help. Seeing a representation of your character may help a lot, too. If you use RL Play-Bys, consider watching movies they were in, an episode of a TV show, or their music videos. For anime Play-Bys, do likewise. For PB’s who sing, listen to their music.

Step 6: A Soundtrack

“Mood music” may help some people. Personally, I use music without vocals. Movie soundtracks work great, and there are an infinite number of playlists of fantasy music on YouTube. Sometimes, these pieces are composed directly with RPG in mind. Writing a creepy thread? Listen to something creepy while you write. Writing an adventure thread? Listen to something epic. Writing a sad thread? Listen to something that will break your heart, preferably full of violins and a picture of a single red rose.

Step 7: An RP-cation

If nothing is working, this may a sign that you need a vacation from RP. Check in, say hi, and then state that you love everyone (except that one person…because there’s always one, that asshat), but you won’t be posting tonight. Then, go read a book, watch a movie, work on your novel or go streaking in the park. Whatever suits your fancy, but give yourself a day or two off. Return feeling refreshed and ready to write.

Conclusion

Still not happening for you? Then go back to the top of this guide and repeat step one. You probably have not given up your belief in the idea of “muse” yet.

This guide was written by Peregrine of RPG-D. He kindly requests that you do not steal his intellectual property. If you do, he will declare you mother to be a hamster and that your father smells of elderberries. He will then insult you a second time.